Stop Having the Same Conversation: It’s Time for the “Come to Jesus” Talk

Ever feel like you’re having the same performance conversation over and over again?
You’ve coached, given feedback, offered support… and nothing’s changing.

Let’s just call it what it is — this is a performance problem. 🙃

The Truth Hurts

Most leaders wait waaay too long to address ongoing performance issues. They keep hoping the next conversation will finally “stick.”

But when you’ve had the same talk over and over (and over and over...) and nothing’s changed, it’s time for you to change your approach.

The “Come to Jesus” Talk

This is the conversation where you stop dancing around the issue and say what needs to be said:

“We’ve been talking about this for months. I’ve given you the tools, the feedback, and the support you need. But I’m still not seeing the improvement that’s required. I need to start seeing progress, or we’ll need to have a different kind of conversation.”

This is the moment where it gets real. One final time to be hyper-clear about what’s expected, the timeline for improvement, and what happens if their performance (or behavior—or both!) doesn’t improve.

What Happens Next

Usually, one of two things happens:

  1. They finally step up and start improving (the “oh sht… they’re serious!”* moment).

  2. They see the writing on the wall and decide to move on because they don’t actually want to—or know they can’t—make the change required.

Either way, it pays to be clear. They’ll either get better and start doing the job you need done, or you’ll find someone who can.

Final Thought

If you’ve been having the same conversation for months, it’s time to stop coaching around the issue and start managing it.

If you care deeply about developing people (as most leaders I work with do), the best way to do that is to set clear expectations, provide support, and hold people accountable for results.

You owe it to them.
You owe it to the team.
And you owe it to yourself.

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